The Lord has been dealing with my husband and me about taking ALL things to prayer. Especially conflicts. Yes, God wants us to LAY IT ALL OUT BEFORE HIM! He does not want a superficial relationship with us. He does not want to hear from use only when we want to ask Him for something or complain. He wants to be INCLUDED in ALL aspects of our lives. He wants our marriages to be given to Him, and our issues laid at His feet.
Recently, Rob and I decided it was time to stop playing around and really learn how to resolve our conflicts. It wasn’t until we went to our study group and confessed what I will tell you in a minute that we found out PRAYER is the KEY to Conflict Resolution. I want you to write that down and commit it to memory! Seriously.
The Eye Opener:
A couple weeks ago we were leaving church and our oldest daughter looked gloomy. So, I asked her what was wrong. She proceeded to tell me how another girl and her friends were messing with her hair and bothering her during the service, even after she asked them to stop. (She sits with the other teenager in the church on some Sundays)
My husband got very angry. He yelled. He told her that she should not take that, and that she should stand up for herself…even if it meant getting physical. I am CERTAIN that your husbands will be able to relate to his reaction. However, I DID NOT! I am also CERTAIN that any Mother reading this would not agree with my husband’s solution. LOL!
Well, me being who I am, told him to stop telling her that. I also told them both that is NOT how God wants us to handle things. Rob did not agree. He was really angry…I mean this is his baby girl. He does not want her to be picked on. I understood that.
Unfortunately, my anger at his wrong advice won. We were now arguing very heatedly with each other. In front of the children. Suddenly, I clearly heard the Lord say; “PRAY NOW!” So, I stopped and asked my husband if we could just pray. He agreed. We bowed our heads and my husband began to pray. He humbled himself before the Lord. He apologized to the Lord for his reaction. He asked God to forgive him and to help us find a better solution. I then prayed and so did our teenage daughter. The best part was when we finished praying and our little toddler wanted a turn to pray! :)
After we prayed, the fight ended. We no longer argued. We got ready for our group and left. We were still not “OK” with each other. We still had some not so nice feelings towards each other. Plus, we felt stupid going to group after fighting.
OK, so, we get to group and follow along with the study. Then during one of the discussions, I asked Rob’s permission to talk about what happened earlier that day. He said yes. (I think it is very important to ASK your husband before you talk about something he did.) I told the group the whole unedited version of the story. ALL the men totally understood Rob’s feelings…although they did NOT think it should actually happen that way! LOL! But they DID “get him.” I told them how I felt like such a failure arguing like that in front of our children…after church no less!
Light Bulb Moment:
They all told us that was a lie from the enemy. What REALLY happened is that we taught our children
- To pray when things get hard
- Prayer calmed the situation
- To confess our sins to the Lord
- Rob took on his role as leader by beginning the prayer
- Prayer is the KEY to Conflict Resolution
I am still not proud of the way we acted. I mean yelling at each other is not the way to handle conflict. However, I KNOW that God loves me and He is here for me…even when it takes a falling down to look up!
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
I also want to mention; we have encountered at least three more problems over the past couple weeks that required us to STOP and PRAY! Two of them in front of our children.
Let’s Pray;
Daddy God, thank You for the husband You blessed me with. Thank You that when conflicts arise we can come to You. Lord, help me to turn to You when troubles come. Help me to learn to lean on You in my times of struggle. Help me to learn to STOP and Pray. I ask that You teach my husband and me to incorporate prayer into our conflicts so that we can include You in the struggles within our marriage. I love You, Lord. Thank You for Loving me. In Jesus Mighty and Loving Name, Amen!
Your Homework:
Study the following verses:
- 2 Chronicles 7:14
- Jeremiah 33:3
- Psalm 55:22
- Psalm 66:20
- Mark 11:24
- Galatians 6:2
- Colossians 3:13
- 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Memorize:
Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully. - 1 Peter 5:7
Application:
I encourage you to make a REAL effort to STOP and Pray when conflicts arise…even if you have an UNwilling husband. God will honor YOUR prayer!
Prayer is the KEY to Conflict Resolution!
Copyright © Lara Velez, Moms of Faith, All Rights Reserved
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