Honesty in marriage is a topic that is not widely covered, yet it is a foundational part of a healthy marriage. I would like you to ask yourself the following questions…
- Am I an honest woman?
- Do I always tell the truth?
- Is it ever OK to lie?
Most of us will probably answer yes to the first and last question. It is interesting to me that we consider ourselves honest people…yet we lie. Oh, yes, we do lie.
Let me give you a few examples of how we lie…
Note: These are not actual people…just examples
Michelle
Michelle is married to Bryan. Michelle and Bryan are on a tight budget. They are trying desperately to get out of debt. They have many arguments about finances. Most of them are about Michelle’s spending habits. Michelle loves to spend money. Especially when her and Bryan fight.
One evening they got into a rather heated argument about her spending. She went to bed quite angry and hurt. Bryan wasn’t very nice with his words. He spoke to her in anger. The next morning, Michelle decided that she needed a new dress to make her feel better. She found a pretty pale yellow one on sale. She bought it. When she got home she hid it in the back of her closet…
A few weeks later, Michelle and Bryan had a business dinner to attend. She decided to wear the yellow dress. Bryan didn’t recognize the dress. He asked her where she got it. Michelle said that she didn’t remember. She’s had it for years. Then she puts it out of her mind and finishes getting ready…
Katherine
Katherine is married to Joe. Joe recently got a promotion at work, and is working long hours. He is burnt out at the end of the day. So, he asks Katherine to handle the finances until his schedule gets better.
Katherine is all excited and thinks this is a wonderful idea. She was never happy with the small allowance that Joe gave her each week. So, she decided to redo the budget to suit her materialistic needs.
She spent and charged and spent and charged some more. It got so bad that she was unable to make all her payments on time.
Unfortunately, she chose NOT to go to Joe with this. She continued to keep him in the dark. After all, she wasn’t actually “lying.” He never “asked” her about the money. She felt confident that keeping this from him was best for their marriage.
All seemed to be going well, until…the electricity was turned off. When Joe came home from work, she STILL did not take responsibility. She lied. She told him there was an outage. ACK! What a mess Katherine has gotten herself in!
Margie
Margie is married to Tom. Margie has a friend named Leann. Leann can be extremely irritating. Margie does not like spending time with her…but she knows it’s the good “Christian” thing to do. So, she accepts an invitation for a couple’s night out on Friday evening. Her and Tom almost never go out…
On Wednesday, Margie runs into Lisa. She hasn’t seen Lisa in ages…They spend a bit of time catching up, and then Lisa suggests that Margie and Tom come over for dinner on Friday night. Margie just loves Lisa. She would much rather spend her time with Lisa than Leann. She accepts.
Margie spends the rest of the afternoon trying to come up with a good “excuse” for canceling with Leann. Finally, she decides to tell her that Tom has to work late. She hangs up and Leann leaves her mind. Friday comes and she has a wonderful evening with Lisa. She never even feels guilty. She simply justifies her lies and moves on.
Most of us may be familiar with at least one…if not all of these scenarios…and many others I am certain. If not, we DO have other issues, like pride and denial, that cannot be covered in this lesson! LOL!
Unfortunately, the Church does not always stand for truth. We have become desensitized. We look just like the world in many respects. We forget that we are aliens. We forget that we are supposed to stand for Truth. We forget that when we lie, we are submitting to the father of lies, the devil.
Let’s pray,
Daddy God, show me where I have been dishonest with my husband, others, and myself. Help me to be the honest wife and woman that you desire me to be. Help me to recognize when I am being less than truthful. Help me to really examine my attitude towards lying this week. I want to please You, Lord. Show me where I am lacking in Truth. Show me where I am deceiving myself. Thank You. Thank you for Your Love. Thank You for Your Truth. In Jesus Mighty Name, Amen.
Your Homework:
Is it ever OK to lie?
Your assignment for this lesson, is to examine yourself. Think about how truthful you are. Think about how often you lie. Even those ones considered “little white lies.” A lie is a lie. I want you to do a self-check up.
Also, read Ephesians 4:22-25…then, next week, we will answer that question.
After you have spent a day or so doing the above, go on and read part two of this study.
Copyright © Lara Velez, Moms of Faith, All Rights Reserved
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What if your husband is a verbally abusive person? I get so frustrated with the way he talks to me and puts me down at times. I want to be the person that God wants me to be but out of the confusion of the mean stuff my husband says to me and in front of our daughter, I can’t get no respect out of my daughter and can hardly have any friends. He won’t let me get a job or anything else. I am wondering who I am as a person. What now?
Hope, Honestly, I KNOW what this is like. You pray for him AND your daughter. You love him and show him love and mercy. You do the things you KNOW he wants and needs and seek God’s face. You allow God to be the husband that he fails to be. That is what I did and found peace through years of pain.
Also, you MUST realize that who you are as a person has nothing to do with your husband, what he thinks or what he says bout you. You find your completion in Christ. (((hugs))) Praying for you dear sister.