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This week we will talk more about the ACT of submitting. Let’s begin with two core Scriptures.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. ~ Ephesians 5:22-24 (KJV)
Wives, be subject to your husbands [subordinate and adapt yourselves to them], as is right and fitting and your proper duty in the Lord. ~ Colossians 3:18
Let’s look at the word submit in this passage, in it’s original Greek. It is almost the same as last week’s “submissive,” yet different enough to look at on it’s own.
Submit (hupotasso or hupatatto) – to be under obedience, submit self unto, to place in an orderly fashion.
The opposite of this word in Greek is anti and means; against.
Just what does all this mean? Simply put, we are to obey our husbands! Now for many of you…and me as well on some levels…that makes you mad. LOL!
However, it really is not as bad as it sounds. We learned last week that God designed different roles for the husband and wife. We are learning what OUR role is as a wife. Our GOD GIVEN role.
What does obey really mean?
The dictionary meaning is; to comply with the wishes, instructions, or commands of. To follow. To submit or conform to. Respect. Yield to.
On the flip side; disobey, defy, revolt, rebel, mutiny, resist, refuse, be insubordinate.
WHO are we really rebelling against when we dig our heels into the ground and refuse to submit to our husbands? The answer my dear sisters is GOD. He is the One Who has told us what we should do. So, when we are in rebellion with what He says, we are disobeying Him, and we will be unhappy, and unfulfilled. When we are not lined up properly, we will NEVER have a truly happy and fulfilling marriage. Not on the wondrous level that God created it to be.
How do we obey? How does this play out in my life as a wife?
Before I begin, please understand, I have not “arrived.” God deals with me in this area on a regular basis. I am a VERY strong willed woman. I am extremely opinionated and full of fire! LOL! However, as I have been praying and studying this topic, I realize that GOD designed me to FOLLOW my husband’s lead. Yes, it is painful to let go. Thankfully it is only painful to my flesh.
I encourage you to PRAY about this. Ask God to SHOW you when you are not being a submitted wife. Trust me, He WILL! Boy will He ever! LOL!!!
Let your husband LEAD - Allow the man to make decisions without giving him grief at every turn. Or adding your two cents all the time.
Obviously if the issue is serious and you feel GOD leading you to express your disagreement with your husband’s decision…tell him. HOWEVER, failure or not…let him LEAD. God WILL take care of you. He WILL bless you for falling into YOUR ROLE.
When he expresses his feelings on a subject yield - This can be tough. Maybe your husband has different views financially or how you are raising your children, or whatever. Unless what they want goes against God’s Word, yield. It will save you stress and allow GOD to work in your husband.
Remember, we are their help meets. When we are NOT in our proper role we are not helping them. When we DO get in alignment with what God’s Word says, it softens our husbands to the voice of the Lord. They are able to hear His instructions more easily, because YOU have been helping keep the mental junk out of their minds.
Do not push issues - Whatever the issue; you want something, you want him to be a better spiritual leader, you want him to pray more, you want…you want…YOU want. Hush. Take it to Daddy. Leave it there. Be a help meet to your husband.
Take care of the things that matter to him said and unsaid - Clean the house. Make dinner regularly. Clean the house. Make sure he has time to unwind after work. Clean the House. Get dressed and make yourself look pretty for him daily. Clean the house. Make sure his things are organized and easy for him to find. Clean the house. Adapt yourself to your husband. Oh, and did I mention Clean the House! It DOES matter to them no matter what they say!
In closing I want to encourage you to do this week’s homework. You should do it every week. However, make a point to do it this week. In order to be a submitted wife, we must first be submitted to the Father. Your homework deals with that.
And, remember, forget what your Mom taught you (unless it was Biblically correct). Forget what the culture says. Forget what your SELFish mind says. Forget the movies, magazines, and bologna that the world teaches us about what a wife should be.
Forget all of it and remember this:
Then Peter and the apostles replied, We must obey God rather than men. ~ Acts 5:29
Let’s Pray,
Daddy God, thank You for Your Word. I love You and want to live my life according to what You say and not man. I want to be all that You created me to be. I want to do nothing more than please you in all that I do and say. Please help me to be the wife that You have designed me to be. Please help me to understand my role as a wife and not rebel from it. Please help me learn to be a submitted daughter to You and a submitted wife to the husband that You gave me. I love You and thank You for all the many blessing You have given me. In Jesus Mighty Name, Amen.
Your Homework:
I want you to take some serious prayer time this week. Ask Daddy where you need to improve as far as being a submitted wife. Ask Him to show you. Then, be willing to yield to Him and change your path.
Take the time this week to begin turning your will over to your husband’s. Listen closely to the things that deep down you know matter to him and do them. Allow him to lead from this moment on. You WILL be blessed for your obedience to GOD!
Memorize: Then Peter and the apostles replied, We must obey God rather than men. ~ Acts 5:29
Study the following Scriptures:
- Hebrews 12:9
- James 4:7
- Philippians 2:12-16
- Ephesians 5:24
Also, do any homework from Lesson A (last week) that you missed.
Have a blessed and SUBMITTED week!
Copyright © Lara Velez, Moms of Faith, All Rights Reserved
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This is great stuff! When I was a newlywed and struggling with this I finally hit “breakthru” when my Pastor preached about accountability. When we realize that we all have our area of responsibility, it seems silly to try to take someone else’s job. My husband is ultimatly accountable to God for our family – and this relives me of the burden. I am ultimately accountable to God for obedience to His Word and to the Leadership that He has put over me.
I also appreciate your reference to disaggreement. “If you disagree – take it to Daddy” – I love that. Our Abba father is very attentive and He loves to take care of us. Going “over his head” is not disagreeing with my husband… it’s taking it to “the management”. Ultimately praying togeather is just deeper intimatcy, which in turn leads to agreement.
I understand that..I do everything including his clothes but what happen despite everything you do, waiting patiently and talk about God, He still unbeliever and doesn’t want to be a part of Christ and he is a control freak and selfish?…when he utilize me just for his chores and be like a sister figure if you know what I mean..When I don’t ask anything in return and I still don’t get the merit of a wife…How am I suppose to do? I’m dealing with an ungrateful selfish husband
Ana, you may never have the husband of your dreams. I do not mean to be so frank, but that is the fact. It is not always about us. I know that is a very hard concept…to live your life FOR another.
I can empathize with a selfish husband.
He would tell me now to be honest…LOL…it is hard though cause I do not want to dishonor him! However, he is very selfish, particular and wants what he wants. Period. I have spent many years battling him and God about this.
Until…I finally gave into GOD.
When I did this, did he change?
Er…no.
However, I began to change and so did my wants. I began to see Him as God does and love Him despite his flaws…just as God loves US with all of our MANY flaws!
I have come to realize that I may never have the husband of my dreams in Rob. However, those dreams are born if my flesh and the mental ideals of the world/culture I live in.
My true dreams are born of God and as I submit to HIS Will, I see that the pleasures, wants and needs of this world are really nothing.
So, in answer to your question… “How am I suppose to do? I’m dealing with an ungrateful selfish husband?”
Keep taking it to Daddy. Keep getting in His Word. Forget your own needs and seek God’s perfect Will. DO the homework in this whole “helpmeet” series and you will be well on your way to understanding God’s ways are WAAAAAAAAAAY different that what this world teaches.
I hope this helped!
(((hugs)))
Thank you very much.. it did help somehow, I would leave it to God..and confide on the scriptures and he would like for me to do..once again Thanks
Thank you for a well-written lesson over submission. I know it’s a very difficult topic in the society we live in. Most women cringe at the thought of submission….yet, I feel that we may never be totally submissive to our Heavenly Father when we are not submissive to our husbands as well.
For many women it is indeed a tough situation, but I believe our Heavenly Father knows all about it (He sees every heartache and tear), and I can tell you first hand of the many rewards that my Father has bestowed upon me for yielding. Let’s encourage each other to keep our eyes on the eternal rewards.
This is so helpful. I have been married for 2 years now. My husband and I have 3 children and it gets really stressful sometimes! With either not having time for me or not having enough time alone with my husband because our children are so small. I went to the book store earlier this week looking for something along these lines and came up with diddly! So i am truly blessed to have found this. God Bless you, and Keep up the good works!
25~Husbands, love your wives just as Christ has loved the Church and gave himself up for her, 26~to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27~and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28~In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves his body.
I read your article last week…and the whole week I have been thinking how irritating it was …….
Quote: “Take care of the things that matter to him said and unsaid – Clean the house. Make dinner regularly. Clean the house. Make sure he has time to unwind after work. Clean the House. Get dressed and make yourself look pretty for him daily. Clean the house. Make sure his things are organized and easy for him to find. Clean the house. Adapt yourself to your husband. Oh, and did I mention Clean the House! It DOES matter to them no matter what they say.” [end quote]
…..seriously!! “Clean the house”….Where so do we draw the line in how “cleanly” our house has to be… or dinner be made etc etc… Is this not giving a false impression the if i do this he will be happy with me….instead of loving me for the person I am?…. I am fortunate to have a husband who submits in the relationship….we through time(12 years) have come to an mutual understanding of each other…and show grace in situations and issues….we do get after each other when things are not done but that is not what makes our relationship submissive to each other…through conversation, discussion, respect…our relationship flourishes… regardless of what the house or I looks like….especially working part time and raising two kids as well as all the house work etc etc….yes we do need to rely on GOD for our strength…..but at what cost do we run ourselves ragged…becoming defeated and tired,and resentful….is not a benefit to my husband or my children….so to raise the bar in what we do, to submit to our husbands in the list of do’s…. our husbands are to guide us and our family, kindness and respect should be emulated from the husband as well.
Maybe I am feeling convicted some how…I just think that not all men care about a clean house…tell me what your view is, on roles that change and women are the main bread winners and husband stayed at home to raise the kids…. how do you think this article would make them feel or be applied….
I appreciate you website and enjoy your articles but this one stuck out like a sore thumb…and maybe I need more explanation…..
First, Tara, thank you for taking the time to post. :)
I would also like to encourage you to pray about your feelings. God uses His Word to convict and teach…Normally, when I see myself react strongly to something, many times, it can be conviction or my own flesh balking! LOL!
I would like to point out that I saw how you added a few Scriptures for the husband…well, I was not speaking TO husbands. I was speaking to WIVES and we cannot have the mentality of doing our roles IF they do theirs. Ya know what I mean? I have learned to do for GOD regardless of what hubbie is doing.
Anyway, let me point out a couple things I mentioned in above devotion…
Quote: “When he expresses his feelings on a subject yield.” [end quote]
This can vary from marriage to marriage.
AND
Quote: “Take care of the things that matter to him said and unsaid” [end quote]
Again, this can vary. Every husband is different. However, from my experience in dealing with MANY married women…and my own marriage. A clean house is pretty important to a lot of husbands.
Now, all that said, I DO believe (and I am sure to get some flack for this) that the original roles GOD gave to us in HIS Word HAVE been blurred by the culture we live in. Sad…but true. Again, I base ALL of my devotions on what the Word says…NOT the world. Many times that can cause some friction…
Now, if you and your husband have prayed and sought GOD about whatever choices you make for your family and have come to an agreement…then that is your business. However, even if the woman works out in the world more than the man…in the home, in the marriage…the husband is still the head. Period. This is Biblical and God does not waiver and change with the times. Quite contrary, we, as His children, are supposed to do HIS will.
Again, and please do not misunderstand, what you do with your family is between you, your husband and your Daddy God. So, if hubbie likes to clean and that is not an issue for him then whoo hoo for you! LOL! However, there are most likely other areas that do matter to him…so, I would say, apply the principles from the Word mentioned in the devotion to those areas.
(((hugs)))
God Bless! :)
Thank you so much for your reply….You are so right…and i apoligize for laying it all out…I now understand more where you were coming from…
Please do not apologize! :) I am happy to answer and am even happier that you took the time to ask! <3
It is very important that we change our thought patterns. What do you think of when you think about your husband? Is it positive or negative? If it is negative, you need to make a change. My biggest struggle right now is learning how to be a Godly with…in anyway whatsoever. My first goal: change my thought patterns.
But how in the world am I going to accomplish that?
I don’t ever want to get married if I have to do that much cleaning. I’ve never been good at cleaning and my ex-husand drove me away when I tried my hardest to be just that but could never get it right…I went right into the arms of satan’s trap…and disobeyed fully & left the covenant. At first I thought I might want to get married again, but I need a maid for myself as a divorcee…its not in me.