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Last time, we learned that God created sex before sin ever came into the picture. This week we are going to talk about how important sex is in a marriage.
Sex is one of the most important ingredients for a happy and healthy marriage. A marriage does not even become legal until you have it. God designed marriage to be a covenant relationship. The strongest covenant to God always involves blood. Blood was shed with the sacrifices of animals and blood was shed by our precious Savior, Jesus Christ. Marriage, when it begins by God’s design is also with the shedding of blood. A woman should remain a virgin until marriage. When she gives herself to her husband for the first time, her hymen was broken….the blood covenant. “The two shall become one flesh…” (Genesis 2:24)
Unfortunately, many people, including Christian’s did not begin marriage the way God intended. I am one of these people. I did not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ at that time in my life. I also lost my virginity to rape. Then when I met my husband, we had sex before marriage. That does not matter. The concept and purpose of marriage does not change just because we have failed. Marriage is still a blood covenant. God’s grace is sufficient. When we repent, our sins are covered by the precious Blood of Jesus. So, we are still bound to the marriage as if we came into it the “perfect” way.
In the world we live in marriage is more of a contract than a covenant. Contracts are broken every day. A blood covenant is never to be broken. Marriage is taken very lightly these days. Unfortunately, divorce is just as common to the world as it is the Church…but that’s another discussion…You may want to read more on that later, Covenant or Contract.
Moving on…marriage begins with sex. We must have sex to procreate. Sex is also a vital component for the “relationship” part of marriage.
Sex is very intimate. You are literally becoming one with your husband. There is great pleasure in it. It should be fun. Sex is very important to both the husband and the wife for different reasons.
For the Husband:
For most men, it is extremely important, if not THE MOST important thing in the marriage. It defines them. They become grumpy without it. They feel like great warriors when they’ve conquered you. It releases tension in their bodies. It is THEIR way of telling you and showing you how much they love you, dealing with stress and it is a release for them.
Most men could care less about the imperfections of their spouse’s bodies. They just want sex. Anywhere any time. They are ready willing and able…in most cases. There are men that use it as a tool or have other issues…but for the most part, it is numero uno to your man.
For Us, Wives:
Most of us can live without it. For us it is number 3 or 4 on the list of importance. It is what comes before and after that matters to us. We need the closeness aspect more than the actual act. We need NON sexual touching.We need to just cuddle. We need good providers. We need affection. Conversation. We need them to be good Fathers. We need them to be in relationship with the Lord
Those are the important matters to us. Again, there are exceptions…but for the most part this is the norm.
A woman feels wanted and sexy when her husband pursues her. He fulfills her need of acceptance. Especially as Mothers. Our bodies cannot compete with the unrealistic covers of magazines. When our husbands desire us…it feels good. It helps us to move beyond the “what we look like” mind set.
The point is this:
You husband needs sex from you. Your marriage needs you to have sex with your husband.
Your needs may not always be met in the sex department. They may NEVER be met in or out of the bedroom, really. It does not matter. God is not impressed with our whining and complaining and will you please fix him prayers. Love your husband…Love him. Love him. Love him!
Have sex with your husband on a regular basis. Aim for at least 2-4 times a week. Have fun. Tell him he is sexy. Be sexy for him. Enjoy sex. Pursue it. God created it. God wants you to have it…with your husband.
He also wants you to keep it holy. It is never to include movies, magazines, or other ungodly influences. You don’t need all that junk to enjoy it. And if you do…you need to speak with your pastor or a Christian counselor. The world’s idea of marriage ans sex are MUCH different and perverted compared to the beauty that God created it to be! We need to be VERY careful what influence we allow the world to have on our marriage and the sexual aspect of it.
Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And, thus let the marriage be be undefiled… Hebrews 13:4
For further Study:
- 1 Peter 1:15
- Romans 6:13-19
- Hebrews 12:2
- Isaiah 47:10-11
If you or your hubby are not having fun in the bedroom, you need to read Song of Solomon together. It is a love story filled with sensuality and desire. It will definitely spice up your marriage…in a godly way.
If you, as a women are having issues with “wanting” your husband…BRING IT TO DADDY! Yes, He even cares about that! Talk to Him! He is only a whisper away! And, get the Truth of the Word in you so you can be equipped to obey God’s Word in regards to sex. ( 1 Corinthians 7:3-5)
Let’s Pray,
Daddy God, thank You for my husband. Thank You, that you want me to enjoy my husband in an intimate way. Help me to show my husband how much I love him. When I lack desire, Lord, please help me to get it back. Place a seed of desire in my soul for my husband and help me to cultivate it. I want my marriage to be all that you created it to be. Help me to show my husband that I desire him. Help me to love my husband. Thank You. In Jesus Mighty Name, Amen.
Your Homework:
If you did not finish reading the Song of Solomon, finish it…better yet, read it to your husband!
Also, take the time this week to pursue your husband sexually….and on a regular basis hereafter…
- Place your hand on his upper thigh regularly when sitting next to him.
- Get a babysitter to take care of the kids, send DH to drop them off, then greet him upon his return naked with a bucket of chicken!
- Give him a back rub after you know he has had a hard day.
- Tell him how sexy he looks often.
- When he calls, and you know it is him, answer the phone in a soft voice and say something like, “Hello, Handsome. I have been looking forward to hearing your sexy voice all day.”
- Go to bed naked.
- Buy a new pair of panties…sexy ones…or some lingerie. Model it for him. And, TRUST me…he does not notice your weight gain! REALLY! LOL!
Enjoy your husband. He is a gift from God…even when he is at his most annoying! LOL
Copyright © Lara Velez, Moms of Faith, All Rights Reserved
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I agree with this and appreciate your honesty here:)~I often wonder why God made the needs of women and men so different. I know for sure we grow in MAJOR ways because of it;and if we are living sacrificially, these differences alone can help keep us from becoming selfish. I also think maybe this article points out something I think more and more is true; that men depend on women more (especially) emotionally(sex included,cause it helps meet that need in men) than women depend on men; and women can often (come to ) depend on Jesus more,in a sense(not for sexual intimacy-another odd subject..), than their hubbies;and I see it before myself and other women…and have actually had this affirmed to me by women. It is not that we are not close and intimate with our husbands, but I think women just need more emotionally with all the giving we do and sex is not always the complete fulfillment we need. This is not to say that Christ replaces our husbands, but meets our needs when there is lack…Example, in case I am confusing;) I can pour out my heart to Jesus and not worry that I am causing Him added stress…I can do this with my husband, but not to the same degree that I need…Sometimes it just seems frustrating that I am wired so different as a woman than my husband…and I see this difference in men and women so clearly, and understand the divorce rate, unfortunately…If you don’t have that covenant, you do not understand deciding to make the seemingly impossible situations work…and sexual intimacy is at the top of that “impossible situations” list..It’s early, so hope this all makes sense-Thank you for your loving heart towards women:)
This is such a good topic. I am only 27 years old and my husband and I have only been married for about 2 years and I often struggle with the issue of sex and marriage. I, like a lot of people, didn’t wait until marriage to have sex and the person I was in relations (the person I lost my virginity to) with had no christian background what so ever. I fell victim to the lie that if you loved the person it was okay, but what happens when the person doesn’t love you back. I was reluctant to have sex in the first place but “for love” i did and all I got was a broken-heart. I could feel that we were off spiritually and emotionally…we just didn’t gel, but I got pregnant and fought hard to try to make it work for “our family”. I was constantly cheated on and made to feel as nothing more than a concubine. My husband and I fell in love mostly because he was caring, understanding and loved God. But i have to admit he sometimes pays for my past mistake, because of how i was treated in the past involving sex, I sometimes lack interest in it especially if i feel like that day we aren’t on the same wavelength. So you can imagine if its a really big issue I may not touch him for a whole week. I have been struggling with this…I pray with the help of this forum and Gods (of course) i can conquer this issue. I guess because I was viewed as nothing more than a sexual object in the past to someone i cared for, it ticks me off when my husband lusts for me because i feel a little belittled. (don’t know if this makes sense) but it’s the only way i can describe it.