April 29, 2009 by Faith_Mom
Categories: Blog, Christian Wives, Daily Devotional
I wrote this awhile back for Wives of Faith. I thought it was something to revisit! Every Christian wife can use a reminder every now and then to get back into the proper role that the Lord designed us to be in!
A Stubborn Wife Creates an Angry Husband
By: Lara Velez
I am married to a man whom I sometimes refer to as “My Diva Man.” He is a person who likes things a certain way. He can be quite demanding at times. However, he is also a wonderful husband who works very hard so that I can be home with our two beautiful daughters every day.
Unfortunately, this stubborn wife sometimes forgets that and stomps her foot and refuses to give in to him and what he needs.
Let me share an example that happened recently…
We just started doing the South Beach Diet together. So, I need to make his lunch more often than I used to…now it’s every day.
The other day, I could not find a container large enough to hold what I made AND small enough to fit in his lunch box without having to be at an angle. Well, I didn’t think twice, I just put it on an angle.
The next day I did the same thing. This time, however, he looked in his lunch box and got annoyed. He told me that the dressing from the salad got all over the container lid last time. He asked me what he was supposed to do. I told him to scrape it off. BOOM! He got angry. He said I did not care about him and that he had to go work all night and so on. I got annoyed and basically told him he was a jerk. He went to work.
The next morning I got up to make him breakfast and some food for his second job. I made a tuna salad. What I did not do was drain the tuna as well as he would have liked it and again he noticed BEFORE he even left. He was angry and annoyed and again said that I did not care about him and that I just threw his lunch together with no thought.
I got VERY angry and told him he was self centered and unthankful for the fact that I woke up and was nice enough to make him something.
We went back and forth for a few and he left for work.
Now, of course, my Dear and Wonderful Daddy in Heaven convicted me that day while my husband was working. He made me realize that I was the one who was wrong. I needed to be a help to my husband NOT a stubborn wife. I needed to love and CARE about what I was doing for him, not just throw something together and have a “It’s better than nothing” attitude.
So, I apologized to my husband when he got home from work. And, he apologized for not expressing himself nicer.
My STUBBORNNESS and “whatever” attitude was a hindrance to my husband. It made him angry and upset. Thankfully I got past myself fairly quickly.
Unfortunately, many times, us wives remain stubborn for a LONG time and it causes our men to stumble .
The Word tells us VERY clearly to adapt ourselves to our husbands. Not always an easy task for this fallen woman! LOL!
Helpful and Cooperative Wife = Happy and Fulfilled Husband
Copyright © Lara Velez, All Rights Reserved
Source: Wives of Faith
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Kelly Lininger on Fri, 1st May 2009 7:30 pm
You are so right. I have recently finished the Love Dare. I was unhappy in my marriage for over 20 years.. I was angry all the time and pointed my finger at everything. When I learned to make the choice to love my husband and encourage him our marriage got better. Now we are in love again.. granted we do get on each others nerves occasionally (not often)..that is human but the way we handle it is glorifying God…. It’s never too late….
Kelly
Barb on Tue, 5th May 2009 3:38 am
This stubborn woman article was very helpful to me.. I have been married 35 years and needed a reminder. My husband also has A.D.D. and a few other personality traits that make things difficult for him already. I need to be a help, I am home with health issues a lot and he has the burden of providing and doing more than his share. Thanks you so very much.
Miranda @ Keeper of the Cheerios on Wed, 13th May 2009 7:21 pm
What a great post!
It’s hard to not be stubborn but often necessary to live in peace.
Tasha on Sat, 16th May 2009 10:58 pm
Praise the Lord! Very good and true post. I know in my marriage that there are times when I see myself getting upset or frustrated over simple and trivial things that we both know are unnesscary and wrong. And I quickly ask the Lord for forgivness. So, I do thank God for His correction at times…because I do need it.
Martha on Tue, 30th Jun 2009 7:58 pm
How true is this?! I grew up without a father and I was taught that it was good for a woman to be outspoken. I even listened to Spice Girls and my favourite saying was “Girl Power!”
Needless to say, my life turned upside down when I married a dominant cop for a husband. We did nothing but butt heads, I feared that I would lose my identity if I gave in to submission.
We’ve been together for five years and I am slowly learning the role of Godly wives.. I actually learned that us women definitely reap the rewards of a beautiful marriage when we tame our own mouths. Our husbands listen to us more if we’re soft spoken, it’s a wonderful thing indeed. When we obey our husbands, we’re actually obeying the Lord!
This is a beautiful post toots!
Young Wife on Wed, 1st Jul 2009 4:48 pm
Phew! That was a convicting post.
Debbie on Fri, 10th Jul 2009 1:42 pm
Oh yep – right here with y’all. Hard headed “broad” meets gentle-hearted and often confused husband. UGH – the stupid arguments we’ve had because I’ve been so stubborn. Thankfully, my DH is also forgiving and loves me a lot, letting me learn things the hard way sometimes. Thankfully my Father God teaches me with patience until I get it. Tough stuff – this dying to self…
Suzanne on Fri, 10th Jul 2009 11:45 pm
Isn’t it amazing what God can do when we give Him control. He is actually in control anyway..LOL but we keep trying!
Our Sunday school class recently did the Love and Respect Series and it really opened my eyes to what it means to be a submissive wife and that it is about serving God and being the wife and help meet that God created me to be.
A great book to read about this is Created to be his Help Meet by Debi Pearl…it’s a hard read but marriage changing!
Suzanne
Faith_Mom on Sat, 11th Jul 2009 12:16 pm
Suzanne, I read that book and you are right…LOL…it is a “hard read.” However, very Biblical and a good read for those wanting to be wives that please the Lord!
Mike on Thu, 30th Jul 2009 3:40 pm
My wife is very very stubborn. I can’t even get a meal out of her. We both work full-time and run a small business together. She isn’t the type to be calm at all with me. I am the more laid back husband, but I do work hard for her, and she has the strong personality. Most of the time when I ask her to do something she says, “why can’t you do it?” I don’t even dare ask if she can make breakfast, lunch, or dinner because she will jut give me attitude. Her stubborness has caused me to be an angry person and resentful to her and she is resentful to me for becoming this way. I just can’t stand it. We are both Christians and attend church every sunday and she never picks up on any of the “wife duties” the church teaches. And it is almost impossible from me to pick up on the husbands role when you have a wife constantly nagging. I just don’t know what to do other than counseling. Any suggestions?
Angelita on Tue, 22nd Sep 2009 8:18 am
I am totally agree with this! And I am very thankful that God didn’t gave a stubborn head. I had a friend before, she was very stubborn and we tell her not to continue being like that, and now she’s – it’s sad to tell but is a bothered wife. I pray for their relationship, she has a good heart though. And I pray for my daughter not to be stubborn.
Prayznhymn on Mon, 9th Nov 2009 11:31 am
This was a great article. I admit to being quite stubborn/bossy. But after this read and many others, I’ve vowed to making a change. Thanks for writing this eye-opening blog.