Matthew 5:31-32 (NIV)
“It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’
But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.
In the society that we live in marriage is entered into more like a contract then a covenant promise. A covenant promise is like the ones that God made to Abraham and David. The kind that are meant to be kept. Unfortunately, today, there is always a door of escape left ajar just in case “things don’t work out.” The sad truth is that the Church has an equal if not higher divorce rate than the world. There is no example being set as to what marriage was created to be or what the roles are for the man and the woman.
The phrases “fell out of love,” “our lives are heading in different directions,” “I just don’t love him/her anymore,” “My needs aren’t being met,” are some of the many excuses we hear whirling all around us on television, movies, and magazine covers.
First of all, love is not a feeling. Love is a choice. Love is a decision. Love is a deliberate action. I have been married 10 years and there have been MANY days…even weeks where I did not “feel” any love towards my husband. As a matter of fact, I have felt close to hate for him in the “feelings” realm. However, I made a covenant promise to him before God “til death do us part.”
Am I saying this is easy, or what comes naturally?
NO WAY! There was a time when my husband betrayed me with another woman, and I seriously considered getting out. I didn’t give into that “feeling” though. I chose to go with my spirit and forgive him and move forward in our marriage. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do within my marriage, and it was an up hill battle all the way, but we made it! And today, our marriage is better for it. Yes, I said better.
The covenant promise that we make before God should be enough to keep us in marriage. Children are another important reason to make every effort to maintain a healthy marriage at all costs. Divorce leaves VERY deep wounds in a child that follow them their entire lives and never completely heal. I know this from personal experience and observations. They need Mom and Dad to have it together. They need it more than we need to “have our needs met.”
I want to be clear…I believe that divorce should not be the norm. It should be a very distant and last resort. If there is no other way out of an abusive relationship, then obviously we must make that painful break. That is much different that calling it quits because someone else makes our hearts skip a beat. Or we don’t get enough affection. Or we allow our hearts to harbor unforgiveness. Those are foolish and selfish reasons for divorce. It is also the blueprint of a society without God.
I want you to remember something. God compares the Church and its relationship with Him as a marital relationship. It is the closest relationship two people can ever have. It is holy and sacred and should be protected and cherished. It was created by God to teach us love and forgiveness.
Daddy God, I want to thank You for the gift of my husband. Thank You for all that he is, even when I do not see it. Help me to love and forgive Him the way You do. Help me to set an example before my children of what marriage should be. Help me to stay true and remain. Help me to die to my flesh and walk in the spirit. Help me to be the kind of wife that You created me to be. Help me to bring up children that take marriage seriously and hopefully bring a change in the morality of this country. Help me to plant that seed into my children’s lives. Thank You, Daddy. In Jesus Mighty Name, Amen.
In His Love and Service,
Copyright © Lara Velez, Moms of Faith, All Rights Reserved