Longtime readers know that I am pretty open about my struggles. One of them is anger. I have written several pieces on the topic. You would think that my hard head would have mastered this struggle by now. Well, you would be wrong. It is a daily battle for me. Don’t get me wrong, I am not flying off the handle all the time. I have definitely seen growth in the area. However, just when I am starting to think I have a handle on it, something occurs that makes me realize I am by no means where I want to be as far as anger is concerned.
Do not say, I will repay evil; wait expectantly for the Lord, and He will rescue you. – Proverbs 20:22 (amplified)
We all have people in our lives that we struggle with. I find the person I struggle with the most is my husband. I believe it is why God is having me do the Proverbs 31 and Beyond course. You see, He is teaching ME through what I write. You simply benefit from my hard head! LOL!
Seriously, I think many of us misunderstand the above Scripture. We like to think it means God will avenge us. Unfortunately, that is a fleshly mentality. It is pretty clear. He will RESCUE US. What does that mean? It means that after we have been hurt, annoyed, the receiver of offense, etc.; we need to WAIT on the Lord. NOT for vengeance, but for Him to save us from our anger and vengeful heart. He knows it will lead us to sin. He wants us to bring it to Him, leave it there and wait for Him to help cool our fire!
This is where I fail.
I am such a spoiled brat sometimes.
The example I am going to share is NOT something I am proud of, however, you must know so you can see how it all plays out. Use the example to see where you may find yourself wanting to “get someone back” that has hurt you.
Case in Point:
First, I must say that the man God gave me is an awesome husband and father. He loves God and provides for our family. He is funny, outgoing, easy on the eyes and always striving to be a good husband. He also has a flaw that gets my fire raging…He can be downright arrogant. He will say something to me or behave in a way that is so full of himself that it makes me want to knock him out. LOL! SO, instead of letting go of the offense or praying about the situation, sometimes I find myself lashing out at him. I will do this with my wayward tongue, possibly yell at him, and even at times I will punish him by not doing what I normally do for him. You see, he leaves for work very early in the morning and I make his lunch each day. If he makes me mad enough, and I decide to take vengeance that day, he will get no lunch. He will have to fend for himself. I get the “I’ll teach him” mentality. NOT good. Not proud to admit this flaw… :-/
EVERY time I choose vengeance, I get convicted. The good news is that more often than not, I submit to the conviction and will wind up serving my husband as I should. However, that part of me that refuses to take crap rises up every now and then to remind me I still need God to provide the strength. It keeps me humble and allows me to see I cannot do ANYTHING or overcome ANYTHING without my Daddy God’s help!
Do not let yourself be overcome by evil, but overcome (master) evil with good. – Romans 12:21
As soon as I do something, start thinking nicer, or say something kind, my fuse begins to extinguish. When I allow God to bring compassion and mercy in my heart, and I ACT on it, I get rescued from myself!
Maybe you cannot relate. Maybe I lost a few readers sharing what a brat I can be…LOL! Whatever the case, I think, we can all relate that we like to take matters into our own hands, or at the very least expect God to avenge us. Sadly, we are not in right standing with that mentality. God loves, forgives, shows mercy and is compassionate. We should be as well. NO matter the offense. Why? Because He forgives us every day for all of our dumb choices, sinful attitudes and brattiness!
Never return evil for evil or insult for insult, but on the contrary blessing [praying for their welfare, happiness, protection, truly pitying and loving them]. For know that to this you have been called, that you may yourselves inherit a blessing from God–that you may obtain a blessing as heirs, bringing welfare, happiness and protection. – 1 Peter 3:9 (amplified)
I have preached to myself many times and am always reminded that I MUST forgive. For if I do not, I am at risk of some major danger. It cannot be denied. It is clear in the Word. We MUST forgive or we will NOT be forgiven.
There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when He judges you. – James 2:13
For if you forgive people their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses. – Matthew 6:14-15
Be gentle and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has freely forgiven you, so you must also forgive. – Colossians 3:13
Yikes! Thank GOD for the conviction in His Word!
Let’s Pray;
Daddy God, thank You for Your Word. Thank You for the Truth, conviction and guidance it brings. Help me to forgive others. Help me to let go of offenses and not seek vengeance. Help me to grow in love, compassion and mercy. Help me to see others the way You do. Give me strength when my fire starts blazing. Help me to extinguish it through the power of Your Word. I love You, Lord and I want to represent You authentically and in Love. Help me be the wife, mother and woman You desire me to be. Thank You. In Jesus Mighty Name, Amen!
Homework:
I have included helpful passages to inspire you, and help you let go of offenses, and allow God to grow you in love, mercy and compassion. I urge you to dig deeper into this topic. Take the time to look each verse up and check the references. Study and find MERCY in God’s Word!
- Matthew 18:23-35
- Proverbs 16:32
- Philippians 4:5
- Galatians 5:19-20
- Ephesians 4:26-7
- Ephesians 4:29-32
- Colossians 3:8
- 2 Timothy 2:24
- James 1:19-20
- Matthew 7:2
Memorize: He who has no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls. – Proverbs 25:28
Copyright © Lara Velez, Moms of Faith, All Rights Reserved
Hi Faith_Mom!
Tonight is my first time to your website and I want to tell you how excited I am to find you! I am a bit of a burnt out mommy/nanny and have been searching for an inspiration/help to guide me toward Christ as the daily demands of life become increasingly more difficult. I stumbled onto one of your daily writings from about a month ago (Are you a Builder or a Destroyer?) and it was such a blessing, encouragement and a push toward God and Christ! I love especially the scripture you put at the end for us to read and study, it really guides me through the Bible encountering who God truly is. It helps me form a holistic picture of Him and the life He is offering us as Christians (and mommies!).
Thank you for answering His call to do what you are doing. This website is amazing and I will be recommending it to all my mommy friends!!! :)
Thank you for being so real and honest! My sister and I were just discussing this topic this morning in our daily phone call – the Lord is willing and able to help us!