Empty Nest

Tuesday, September 6, 2001.  9:30 a.m.

Departing from her first apartment; living in her first city; wearing her first business dress; commuting on her first metro; arriving to her first job; it’s her first day!

After a long summer of resumes and interviews, our oldest begins her life with a fresh new MBA and a career off in the big city!  The internship at CVS is ancient history as well as the college classes, exams, sorority, professors, and finals!  Today, Caity, just 21, walks into a corporate environment to make her mark in the world.

Now, following a noisy house with big sister home and the “wee-Hotts” in school; no one is stomping in the kitchen, falling down the stairs, and hanging on the fridge door looking for milk for cereal.  The television has been set to the news ALL morning instead of Pokemon and Disney.  The only lights on are those absolutely necessary instead of all three floors blaring like a lighthouse.  Breakfast occurred at one single moment and is washing in the dishwasher instead of continuing hourly till lunch.  Laundry is already started on both floors instead of prying two day old t-shirts off running boys.  And… my cell phone is not texting me messages and ringing all at once because:

Caity is not home.

Hummmm…  Can you hear it?   Just listen.

Shhhhhhh!

Ahhhhhhh…  Peace.And.Quiet.

With only the gentle swish of the dishwasher and light rain outside, the Hott House is completely and utterly…

Empty.

(pause.)

Oh.  Dear.  God:  How I have yearned all summer for just a moment of silence; a second when Isaac is not barking “MOM”; an instant when my cell isn’t beeping; an minute to have an uninterrupted shower; an hour to process the changes in our house without someone climbing on my lap which is now…

Empty.

Dear Lord;  I just ran downstairs to gather more dirty clothes and pick up toys and noticed a sock under Caity’s door.  When I entered her room, I found that the bookshelves, closet, and drawers are now…

Empty.

Oh Father:  I need to go to the grocery store for supplies.  As I pull out of the garage, the little white car that normally is parked next to mine is not home.  The space outside is also…

Empty.

Dear Jesus:  Is this what heaven was like after God sent you to earth?  Was it quiet?  Did God roam around the streets of heaven noticing all the places You weren’t there?  Did God miss your noise, questions, text messages?  Did He notice the quiet stillness in His house?  The absence of Your presence around Heaven?

I wonder how God’s day went when Jesus went to work his first day; when Jesus came to earth.  Do you think God worried about Jesus coming in harm’s way…meeting with danger…failures…fears?

How?  Just, how He must have felt the day heaven was without Jesus that on first day….  Was it

Empty?

Dear God:  When I think about how a little piece of my heart leaves every day when my children are gone and our nest is “empty”, I realize how much bigger is your heart and your love for us, your children.  When I imagine heaven the day you sent us your Son Jesus, I am so thankful for your love, because it is this love that allows me to send them away, knowing that as I do, You are walking with them every step of their day.  For that, I thank you with all of my heart.  Thank you so much for your blessings and providing our children with strength, courage, fearlessness; so that they may grow up to serve you.  And thank you for promising to be with them “wherever they go”!  Amen.

“This is my command – be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”  – Joshua 1:9

Copyright © Angie Hott, Moms of Faith, All Rights Reserved