We’ve all heard the adage, “marriage takes three.” Three of what is the question. Does it mean that some days in marriage we need three aspirin to survive? Is it a reminder of the most important three-word phrases in our relationship - “I love you” and “I am sorry”? Or does it imply that it will take three months of newlywed bliss before the honeymoon ends before we recognize what we actually signed up for? After eighteen years of living with my loving husband, I can tell you the phrase means all of these definitions and more. Of course, the true meaning of “marriage takes three” is our relationship with each other as husband and wife bound in Christ – Christ being the third in a cord of three strands. This definition has been the defining factor in our marriage. My husband and I have been through some extraordinarily difficult seasons of disillusion, languishing, resentment and detachment. We have also embraced glorious periods of contentment, understanding, selflessness, and … [Read more...]
In Sickness and Health…and in Forgiveness
Of all the classes I took in high school and four years of college, I don’t recall any of the curriculum's focusing on forgiveness. Now, had I been a theology or religion major, it is a sure bet that the concept of forgiveness would have been a prominent teaching throughout my education. Some may say that an understanding of forgiveness would come - or should come from attending Church, reading the Bible, or other areas of faith formation. For me, my faith and understanding of Christian principles did not begin to take root until I was twenty-three years old and had already said, “I do” to my spouse. I was spiritually tender at this time and just getting my feet wet, so the deep and wide concept of forgiveness was truly foreign to me. If I were to label what my perception of forgiveness was at this time of my life, a good description would be “forgiveness is letting someone off the hook” - a choice that didn’t even register on my values spectrum as a “control” person. My … [Read more...]
Stuck On Stuck
Contemporary Christian singer, Michael W. Smith, has a beautiful new album out called, Wonder. In a poignant song entitled, “One More Time”, a particular verse hung in the air for me as I listened. “Forget what lies behind you, Heaven walks beside you.” And to take it further on my own if I may, “Heaven walks beside you…and paves the way before you.” How liberating would it be for us, in the midst of suffering, to begin and end each day believing and feeling Christ’s Heavenly presence walking right beside us? Would that be enough to keep us centered in the present moment, and enable our hearts to leave behind painful memories of our past and see hope on the horizon? How I wish all of us as married couples facing challenges, despair, resentments, hurt and fear would allow God’s Grace to shower us as Heaven walks beside us. So many relationships begin a slow fade, fall into a tailspin and ultimately stall where the rubber meets the road. A husband and wife become stuck on … [Read more...]
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