When you said “I do”, did you really believe you knew everything about your spouse? As I reflect on my state of mind eighteen years ago I guess I probably did think that. I knew what was right in front of me – a man who was loving, kind, compassionate, fun, faithful, carefree, intelligent and eager to be my husband – all shining qualities. In reality, it was impossible for me to know “everything” about my mate. The fact is many of us who marry young barely know ourselves! Most likely, life has not yet had the opportunity to broadly present itself to us and definitely has not revealed its design in the framework of marriage, the addition of children or the challenges of maintenance and upkeep in building our covenant home. As we begin our days as husband and wife we have little frame of reference to base our reactions and emotions on in relation to life as a couple. We are still establishing our individual place in the world and the castle in the sky we will reside in as bride and … [Read more...]
Of all God’s beautiful creations, the beach is where I love to be. Mountains are majestic, flowery fields are lovely, secluded streams in backwoods are peaceful – but the beach is heavenly. The blend of water, wind, sunshine and sand is the perfect elixir for the soul. Each year our family takes a week to sink our feet in the seashore and stare across the ocean while our Northeast Ohio complexions beg the sun to add some color to our winter white. During our respite we always enjoy the simplicity of building sand castles despite Mother Nature assuring their temporary existence. Thankfully, sand isn’t hard to come by and there is always the opportunity to “build again.” Whereas the beach beckons us to build castles upon its coast, when it comes to marriage God instructs us to refrain from this activity amid the shores of our covenant. “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, … [Read more...]
Why Should I Be The One To Change?
How many times have we, as wives, said these words when struggling with dissension in our marriage? I know I have. There was a time in my marriage, okay, well probably more like a decade, when I saw nothing but the faults of my spouse in every conflict. It’s amazing; really, that I could see anything considering the obstacles that had impaired my vision. One day God whispered to me the words of Matthew 7:3, “(Shelby), why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the Sequoia in your own eye?” Now it says “plank” in most translations of the Bible, but God apparently felt a mere piece of wood obstructing my vision was not analogous enough to explain the shortcoming He saw in me. He’s generous that way. God’s Word did greet me that day, but you know the old saying, “in one ear and out the other.” Having to be the one to change all the time to make peace in a relationship can get really old. It seems like I am always recognizing a personal … [Read more...]