Tuesdays Mommy Tip: Consistency in Discipline
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OK, on to this week’s Mommy tip…
Consistency in Discipline
Being consistent is a vital ingredient when teaching children to be disciplined and well rounded future adults. You cannot be wishy washy with the discipline of your children. Whether you are a spanker, time out or a combination of both styles of parenting, consistency is the most important factor…bar none.
If you tell a child no 15 times about the same thing…you are not being consistent.
If you tell a child this is your “last warning,” you are not being consistent.
A child should know immediately that they are doing wrong. If it is a first offense on a particular subject, sure a warning is good. However, once they know, discipline must follow the wrong action. Consistent discipline.
Example:
The rule is no running in the house.
Why is the rule in place? It can be unsafe and things can get broken. We need to explain whys to our children…not just because we said so. They are people and deserve to understand why they can or cannot do things.
Wrong Way to Handle Issue: Repeat warnings and child being told; “this is your last warning.” Sporadic discipline. Sometimes the child gets in trouble but mostly just yelled at. This teaches the child nothing. All they really learn is they have a better shot of getting away with the rule breaking than suffering any consequences for it.
Correct Way: One warning and explanation as to why rule is in place. After initial warning, consistent discipline when rule is broken…the first time. If time out is your method, they must be consistently placed IN time out EVERY time they break the rule. In time, they will learn they do not like the consequence of the action and move on to challenge you in some other area! LOL
This concept is for young and old. Teenagers need more creativity in the discipline. However, taking away cell phones and electronics motivates them to obey. However, if you build a solid foundation of consistent discipline, when teendom comes, you will have less issues…at least I did!
Be Consistent…NO matter what!
Copyright © Lara Velez, Moms of Faith, All Rights Reserved
I am a stay at home mom now for 1 year and a half usually with 4 kids and sometimes 5 when my stepson is with us. Being a parent is hard with my own biological children but even more challenging with a mixed family. I have had conflicting thoughts and feelings about discipline between my biological kids and stepkid. I’d like to learn how to deal with discipline from both sides of the coin. This finding has made a world of difference on how I view consistent discipline. Thank you so much for clearing up most of the issues I’ve been having with my children concerning discipline especially coming from a home with so much leniency when I was a youth. You might have saved my marriage. I’m looking forward to more advice and sanity in my life.
Well said. Some (not all) behaviors exist because parents don’t consider them intolerable. My children absolutely never stand on the kitchen table. Why? Because I would absolutely never tolerate that. They do other behaviors I don’t like but it is mostly because I don’t consider them completely intolerable and therefore I am less likely to do something consistently to eliminate them. Often times I am the one who needs to change first before I will see any change in my children. Thanks for the post.
On discipline…the Being Consistent post…very true I loved the end when she wrote to move on to challenge you someplace yet. I am a stay at home Nana..Grandparents raising grandchildren. I find I can tolerate alot more than I did when my children were small…I am 52 and never imagined I would be doing this again. I’ll tell you what it is a BLESSING to have this time with him. I have learned to pick my battles…he is 21/2 yrs and he is just learning daily and our play time is so enjoyable..standing on the table..NO wanting to be creative and paint on yourself..okey..(just get washable paint) LOL I love watching him develope with alittle room here. Discipline is a major factor in their development and as our Heavenly Father does with us Discilpine tempered with love and consistentency..can’t go wrong there and ALOT of prayer! Enjoyed your post!
Hi. This is my first time visiting this site. I am a mom of 2.5 year old and 3 month old girls. I have been having discipline issues with my toddler for awhile now and your tip of consistency has made me realize whatever discipline method I use, I need to be consistent. I keep trying to search for methods of discipline that will be the most effective, I lost sight of being consistent. Thank you! And btw, I am so excited I found this site. I’ve been needing a lot of encouragement lately on being a stay at home mom and my spiritual walk with “Daddy God” (I love how you put it!). Thanks again! =)
Great tip! I try to follow up on consequences. But this reminds me! so thank you!