When I first became a single mother, I found myself feeling isolated. Maybe it was self isolation, whatever the case I didn’t nurture my friendships nor seek out new friendships with other women. My schedule was packed, I was getting over a breakup, adjusting to motherhood, and mourning the passing of my grandmother. It was not the best of times. The only regular contact I had with anyone was my mother. This wasn’t a bad thing, but in hindsight friends is exactly what I needed. Friendship is invaluable! The importance of having women in your life that you can share your hopes, fears, failures, and a whole lot of laughs with is what make the bad times bearable. I encourage all mothers to nurture their friendships and make time for them in their busy lives.
Suggestions to Nurture Your Friendships
Schedule a Date
Take the time and effort to actually get together. Figure out a date that works for the both of you and stick with it. Play dates are great, but can be distracting while you are trying to make sure Suzy doesn’t put spaghetti in Tommy’s hair. Schedule a time when you can both steal away at least an hour or two from the kids. Here are some ideas on fun things to do together:
- Go to the coffee shop
- Get a pedicure or manicure
- See a movie
- Go shopping
- Try a new restaurant and have dinner and dessert!
- Take a walk or go on hike
Start a Club
One the best things about friends are the interests we have in common with them. Clubs are fun and they don’t have to include a bunch of rules and regulations, they only have to have friends who are dedicated to pursuing the club’s activity. Some club activities are a book club, knitting circle, bible group, or a cooking club. Pick a day, bring a snack, and have fun!
Mommy Time with Friends
One thing all mothers have in common is their children. If you are a single mom and have a hard time getting even an hour alone, then include the kids. Take turns having dinner at one another’s home. Go to the park, out for ice cream, hit a movie, and enjoy sharing the mommy experience together.
Pick Up the Phone
Pre-mommy life you couldn’t get me off the phone with my friends. Now the phone is more of a nuisance to me than anything. I have had to make a conscious effort to pick up the phone and call my friends. It isn’t that I didn’t want to talk to them, most of the time I was too exhausted. Make it a goal to call your friends at least once a week. They are busy too, but it only takes a moment to check in on how someone is doing.
Amidst all the laughs, dinner and lunch dates make sure you pray for your friends. Pray together, create a prayer group that is a strong force in your friendship. Think back to how the disciples prayed for one another.
Nice Things to Do Just Because…
- Offer to babysit
- Bring over dinner
- Send a thinking of you card
- Give them flowers
- If they are sick bring them soup and take the kids overnight
- Bake a yummy dessert for them
Friendships are a gift. Make the conversations that you have with your friends meaningful. Create a support network for one another emotionally, physically and spiritually. Remember that friends are vital to the well being of your life and your family’s life.
Copyright © Chere Williams, Moms of Faith, All Rights Reserved