Cheese Sticks

What I am about to share with you is not for the faint of heart!  Especially for those dads out there stopping by Moms of Faith, well… you may just want to keep on surfing by this story.  For you see, this is only something we moms will understand.  It is for all of us of the female persuasion that have been so totally and completely embarrassed by our children that we are ready to hide.  It is embarrassment that goes straight to utter humiliation, right to the point of shameful existence beyond recognition.  On second thought, maybe everyone has been the center of their offspring’s antics?  So, stick around!

For me, it was a lovely family dinner at one of our favorite finds:  Petrucci’s Restaurant!  Our family LOVES the oven fired pizza there.  And, on Thursdays, they have an awesome “special” where you can buy one individual pizza and get the next one for ½ price!  Now, that’s a deal!  Especially when you feed a family of six that can NEVER agree on pizza toppings!

What began with our usual game of musical chairs when we approached our table, ended in utter embarrassment, much to the delight of several strangers seated near our table.  You see, it never fails that the Hott family argues over who must sit next to whom each.and.every time we go out!  It is just almost easier to stay home… I’m serious!  After I initially took my seat and parked my bag (or purse) on the chair, I only moved 3 or 4 times until I was finally skillfully placed between Levi and Violet.  Whew!  Glad that’s over.  Now, let’s order.

Which pursued the normal arguments over whose pizza pickings were superior… followed by the ever timeless wait for the restaurant to complete our order for six, yes 6!, separate pizzas.

So, we waited.

And waited!

Okay, we waited some more for what seemed an eternity!  After finally completing everyone’s homework and reviewing all 50 spelling words for three Hott children, we were still waiting for our meal.  As we waited, Violet and I engaged in a random scroll over old pictures on my cell phone.  Which left Isaac and Levi engaged among themselves while Dan went to pee, again.  Still waiting!… and hungry.

Suddenly, “MOM!”  yells Levi!  “A cheese stick!   Can I have a cheese stick?  I’m starving!”  From the corner of my eye, I see Levi waving around a cheese stick.

Well, Violet and I are now watching old videos on my phone and I answer, figuring that maybe a little food will appease Levi until his pizza comes, “Sure honey, whatever!”

“Cheese stick!”  adds Isaac, “I want a cheese stick too!”  Isaac then nearly climbs over the table attempting to steal away Levi’s cheese stick.  Levi, used to darting from his brother, begins to run around the restaurant with his cheese stick in the air.  Before a fight between the Hott brothers breaks out, I say,  “Okay,  just have a cheese stick already!  WhatEVer!” 

When, to my right, Levi begins to dig through my bag in search of a second cheese stick for Isaac.  Hold on a minute!  I don’t remember ordering any cheese sticks!  And, we already devoured the order of zucchini fries.  Just where in the world are the boys getting these cheese sticks?

This is when I (finally) look over to find Levi still rummaging through my bag (which I left on his chair) with one hand, searching for another cheese stick for Isaac.  Held HIGH over his head while he continued to search was Levi’s other hand, clutching the prized cheese stick, still keeping it an arms length away from his brother by swinging it around like Indiana Jones with his whip!  Apparently, there were provisions in my purse that I had forgotten about.  I don’t remember putting cheese sticks in there!  Hugh?!  What?

Wait.One.Second!!!!!

That’s NOT a cheese stick!  I lunged toward Levi and grabbed his “snack” and darted under the table where I remained to retrieve none other than a yellow wrapped tampon.

There I stayed, until the pizzas arrived, while the restaurant roared with laughter!  Has this (or a similar incident) ever happened to you?  Please tell me; for surely, I am not the only crazy and chaotic “Mom of Faith” out there?!

 “Sons are indeed a heritage from the Lord, children, a reward… Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the sons… Happy is the man who has filled his quiver with them” – Psalm 127:3-5

Copyright © Angie Hott, Moms of Faith, All Rights Reserved