Four letter words are foul and ugly. But did you know that there is a five letter word that can be just as bad, if not worse? P R I D E. Yeah, yeah I know. We should all have pride in our work and pride in our children. Those are the good qualities of pride. When pride gets in the way of our relationship with God, however, that’s where the trouble begins!
I have always thought of myself as a humble person. I do not consider anything I do better than anyone else. So when the topic of pride came up, I was astounded to realize just how much it has played havoc with my life. For instance, as most of you know, I hate my van. It is ugly, old, ugly, impaired, ugly, and not dependable. Did I mention that it was ugly? I have been ashamed to be seen in it! I mean really…I drive nice vehicles, not ones that look like that! Can you say conceited? Prideful? It was during one of these complaint sessions with God that it dawned on me (with some divine help, I am sure!) that maybe, just maybe, God was trying to show me the error of my ways. So, I started to change my thought process. A shiny new vehicle does NOT define who I am. Nor does it get me into Heaven any easier. I don’t look down on people who don’t have the best things in life, so why would I just automatically assume that they are judging me by what I get out of? My Father does not love me any less. As a matter of fact, He is probably pretty proud of me for finally being able to admit all of this!
None of this changes the fact that we do still need a more dependable handicap van, but every door I have tried to open to make this happen has been slammed shut. Is this God’s way of telling me no? I don’t think so. I was talking with a wonderful friend and we were sharing our testimonies of how God has or is intervening in our lives. She shared that the one thing she wanted the most in her life, and had been promised by God, she wasn’t getting. She said that God told her it was because that one desire had become more important in her life than her relationship with Him. Wow!! All the warning bells started sounding in my head! I have been so determined to get this handicap accessible van on my own that I was not trusting God to provide for our family! In my warped sense of pride, I thought I could do this on my own without bothering God! Like I can really do anything on my own without Him!
To sum all of this up, I am no longer ashamed to drive my ugly little van! As I said, it does not make me the person I am. I am trusting my Heavenly Father to provide for all of our needs. I am learning to ask for and accept help from my brothers and sisters in Christ. Trying to do it all on my own is prideful and not very becoming at all!
When pride comes, then comes shame; But with the humble is wisdom. Proverbs 11:2
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