“Mrs. Smith , could you please come and get your son, he is not listening… again.”
Oh Lord, why was this happening again? This was the third time in a two week period alone that my son’s “strong willed” behavior had me called out. Frustration, hurt, sadness, and disappointment all whirled within my soul at this moment. Why in the world could I not have a son who was calm and courteous, who came when called, who would just plain obey? These thoughts bombarded my waking moments as well as many sleeping moments. As a mother of four children I was stretched to, what I thought was, my absolute limit. Something had to change here, but I certainly couldn’t stretch any further–or could I?
Strong Willed Children: Finding the Positive
God has given me this important task of raising these children, specifically this particular son. This is my calling, my precious gift, to love this li’l man and his beautiful siblings. No matter how much passion and grit, and determination he has, he is my son that God has blessed my life with. I’m not sure if this little illustration rings true with any of you, but I can say that what I have learned through having this strong willed child is that I am so in need of a close walk with my Heavenly Papa. For it is through this connection that I have the day to day strength and endurance to continue raising this child the way the Lord would have me raise him. Now, this is not saying by any means, that it is all an easy stroll in the park. We still have many challenging days, and I am sure they will continue, but I am finding that what is changing right now is me.
If we as mamas begin to look at the negatives as future positives, it begins to help us see the big picture with a bit of perspective. For example, I personally kept finding myself frustrated with the fact my son was so willful, literal, and passionate about things… Now, I try to see those things in a different light. God made my son a very strong leader, a passionate young man who pays attention to the littlest detail. One day, he can rise up and become a great, passionate leader of this next generation of young believers. God made him this way with a purpose, just like He made me this little boy’s mama for a specific purpose. My dear sweet sisters in Christ, I know that days are hard with strong willed children; but I also know that God has equipped us with the necessary tool to help us parent these amazing young ones.
When you are on your last nerve, and you don’t think you can survive one more day in these trenches… Put on your waders and head in a little deeper, learn to dance in the mud, kick up your heels and grab hold of the joy and hope that only our Heavenly Papa can give. Hold to the promises that He gives us in His Word. He has plans for each of us, plans for a hope and a future. (Jer.29:11) He even has a perfect plan for that strong willed, passionate child sitting in timeout right now…. Cling to His promises and know that you are the one and only perfect person for the task at hand–even if it doesn’t feel like it at times. Cover these li’l ones in prayer, and leave the struggle at the foot of the cross. Seek wisdom from our Heavenly Papa, and He will direct your path. (Prov. 3:5-6)
Do you have a strong willed child? How do you handle them?
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