It’s almost Father’s Day. Chad’s been a father four years now, but I can’t remember a single thing I’ve done on a father’s day to celebrate him. Which is sad. Considering every Mother’s Day we do something entirely female and my choice, like shopping and Starbucks and breakfast places that smell like lattes and cinnamon. But, I am making it a point this year to celebrate my man.
From Glory to Glory: Preparing My Heart for Father’s Day
As I’ve been preparing for it, I was reminded of a slogan my favorite pastor uses, where he encourages his church to create a “culture of honor”. When I think about how I want our family to be, I want us to have a culture of honor. I don’t want to be in a race with my husband to see who deserves the most self-time, pampering, rest-time. I want to be in a race to out-serve, out-love, out-affirm him.
We are currently at a place in our lives where many of our friends are just now getting married, and I have been finding that newly wed’s perspectives are so different then mine sometimes. The temptation, when faced with their ardent public displays of affection and endless praise of each other, is to roll my eyes and say under my breath, “Just wait until you have kids or have different opinions on what kind of toilet paper to buy or where to put your money”…but the truth is, I need to see new love because it restores my ideal of marriage. I started out full of dreams and hopes five years ago, and I don’t want life to wear away at them. But it takes work to maintain that boundless hope. The love I have for my husband has been tested over five years, and I can’t imagine what it will be like in twenty-five. We both have been disappointed with each other, and alternately very blessed by each other. Our love is deeper now than it was on our wedding day, we know more of each other than we ever did then.
The human tendency is to let things break down, but God’s promise in 2 Corinthians 3:18 is that Chad and I, in Christ, are going from glory to glory: “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.”
From Glory to Glory
No matter what life throws at us, (kids, diaper explosions, business breakdowns, personal failures) we can still go from glory to glory if we choose to. I want our love to be like that, to go from glory to glory. It’s like when Jesus rebuked Simon the Pharisee for chastising the woman for breaking oil over his feet, saying, “Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven–as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” She loves better because she had been forgiven more times, and I want to be that way as well. The more Chad has to forgive my quick temper and sometimes bitter tongue, the more I want to love him well. He sets me free over and over again, and marriage is a divine picture of forgiveness walked out in every day life. We ought to grow MORE in love, rather than less.
Maybe you’re like me and your husband is easy to love, its just that life gets busy and you forget to make time to. I’d like to offer a few self-questions to stir up your love again. Or maybe you have a husband who has disappointed you, and you feel misplaced. I pray God’s grace for you, grace to love and walk out the covenant of marriage, even if it is a lonely and hard road. And I pray for creative words of life for you, and creative ideas for how to celebrate what is in your husband that is worthy of celebrating.
From Glory to Glory… Celebrate Him!
First, identify what blesses your husband the most. I love Gary Chapman’s principle of the five love languages: does your husband receive love most when you give him gifts? Do acts of service for him? Speak words of affirmation over him? Give him physical touch? Spend quality time with him?
If it’s gifts, buy one now! Think of something he needs, or maybe he buys everything he needs, so think of something he’d enjoy, or something he’d never splurge on. I know I bought a gift my husband would like but wouldn’t want to waste his own money on. So I bought it for him. And I can’t wait to see his face.
If it’s acts of service, try and order your time this week so you can do what would bless him: clean his bathroom sink out, organize his office, restock the refrigerator with his favorite drinks and foods, do the one household chore you know he abhors (like taking out the trash on Friday).
Does he love words of affirmation? Then ask yourself : What does he do well? What do I appreciate most about him? What makes him a good match for me? How can I praise him for his job as a dad? And write the words out in a card, or type them up and print them. Or just call him up and tell him. For my husband, those words of life are so vital. It’s like a fresh gust of wind in his sails.
And I think we all can guess every man’s primary choice for physical touch. I won’t advise you there other than to be free- but I think sometimes a back rub or a foot massage or a simple hug can be of service. I get so tired of little people hanging on me all day that at night, I just want my own space. This week I’m trying to put aside my own feelings and love on my husband.
If your husband’s love language is quality time, then spend some time with him. Get a babysitter in line for a night this week or next, and go out on a date, just the two of you. Or wake him up with breakfast in bed before the kids are up. Or visit him at the office for lunch. Make a choice to make time for him.
These are such simple ideas, but I neglect that important priority of honoring my mate so easily. I want to be a woman who celebrates her man, even when he doesn’t act in a deserving way. One of my favorite men of God says that honor is the currency of heaven. I find that when I honor others, I end up feeling better too.
So breathe a little life into your husband this Father’s Day, and don’t just rely on your kids to do it. ” Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Romans 12:10
From Glory to Glory… How are you preparing your heart for Father’s Day?
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