“I’m tired” just doesn’t describe it. A more accurate description might be exhausted, wore out, zombiefied. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. I am to the point that my brain just won’t function normally. Did I mention that I am tired?? About three weeks ago we lost our night nurse, so that job fell solely to me. So now I do day shift AND night shift. Caleb isn’t really picky as to which shift he does, so he just catnaps and therefore I am up usually twenty out of the twenty four hours. Finally, I said enough is enough and I put a pillow over my head to shut out his howls! Sounds cruel, I know, but I knew he was just fine, just not happy about being by himself for a few minutes. Anyway, so here I am trying to get just a few minutes of quiet, but I have highly sensitized “mommy ears”. In addition to them, I also have a very vivid imagination. Not a good combination when you are sleep deprived! I suddenly hear him choking and gurgling. I spring up and rush to his bed, … [Read more...]
Six “R’s” to Storm Survival for Tropical Storm Isaac
An earlier evening this week, my hott-hubby Dan emerged from his office with an announcement: “Hey boys… Guess what? There is a tropical storm forming in the Caribbean and you’ll be surprised to hear what the National Weather Service has named it!... ISAAC!” “Cool! A storm named after ME!” our eight year old son responded with glee! “Blah-ha-ha!.... Yeah right! Isaac is a storm!” answered his older sister, Violet, in her usual 12 ½ year old sarcastic tone. (I know she thought it was cool, too; but she was just bummed that her name starts with a “V” and the likelihood of having a storm named after her is less than slim.) Then, we heard a small little voice respond, “Oh? A storm?” It was Levi. As the color drained from his face and his freckles began to turn green, Levi froze for a complete 30 seconds. He didn’t say a word. Until finally… “R.U.N.! Come on! We have to go to the basement! NOW!” The tears began to fall like the impending rain from Tropical Storm … [Read more...]
Holding On
My dear sweet child, It’s four o’clock in the morning and once again I am sitting in bed with you trying to console you. I know you are frustrated and scared, Little One, and so am I. This is a journey neither of us planned and neither of us knows where it is going to take us. As I hold your hand the thought comes to me: will these precious little hands ever draw me another masterpiece or write me a book about Boxen Fly? Will I ever feel them clasp mine as we walk along? And what about playing video games and basketball? Are those also things of the past? I rub your legs and feet and cry as I think of how you used to run and play on the farm. Oh, you had so much energy! I used to say that if I had even an ounce of your energy, I would be able to do anything. I watch as you move your legs back and forth in the bed. Are you dreaming of those days too? I miss so much about you. The little things are what hurts the most. I miss hearing your giggle, and your excited squeal when … [Read more...]
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