A Mother’s Battle

The tongue is such a tiny little organ. Yet, it can be one of the most powerful weapons. James 3 has a lot to say about the tongue

I suggest that you read the entire chapter. (It’s very short)…

Anyway, verse 6 says; And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is a world of wickedness set among our members, contaminating and depraving the whole body…

Whew, those are some strong words…but, wait, that’s not all. Proverbs 18:21 tells us; Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it for death or life. It is scary to think that my mouth has that much power.

As Christian Mothers we have a great call on our lives to train our children up…Are we speaking life to them? If not, it is never too late with God. He makes all things new.

I know that in my own life…I do not always choose my words wisely. I get angry and say stupid things. Do you?

Proverbs 29:11 says; A self confident fool utters all of his anger, but a wise man holds it back and stills it. The original Hebrew word for “utters” is ruwach (roo’vakh). It means a violent exhalation, anger, unsubstantiability, blast, and whirlwind.

That means, when we lose our temper and spew out our anger…it’s like what a hurricane does when it hits land. It destroys everything in its path. I don’t know about you, but I can have some pretty nasty storms come out of my mouth at times…

Ephesians 4:26 says; When angry do not sin; do not let your wrath last until the sun goes down. This tells me that it’s OK to get angry…it’s normal. We don’t have to walk around holding everything in. We do however, have to express our anger without yelling, cursing, violence, name calling, etc. That is where the anger becomes sin. How do we accomplish getting angry without sinning?

Well, before we can learn that, we must explore the subject of anger more deeply.

There are two types of anger mentioned in the Bible; justifiable and unjustifiable. Here are some examples of both:


Cain – in Genesis 4:5-6: His anger came from not getting praise and approval that he felt was deserved. He thought too highly of himself and, was filled with jealousy.

Jonah – in Jonah 4:1-9: His anger came from rebellion. First, he ran from doing what God told him to do. Then, when he finally did, he had distain and apathy towards the people that he was called to minister to. He thought too highly of himself and lacked pity.

The Sadducees – in Acts 5:17: They were filled with jealousy, indignation, and rage. Why? Because, the Apostles were held in high regard, for the signs and wonders God gave them the power to perform.


Moses – in Exodus 32:19: Moses was up on the mountain pleading with God, not to destroy the Israelites. And, there down below building a golden calf to worship. When he came down and saw their disobedience, he got very angry…and burned it!

Samuel – in I Samuel 15:16-31: Samuel was angry with Saul because, he had disobeyed the Lord. He had become rebellious and stubborn. Samuel then told Saul that God had rejected him as king…high price for disobedience.

Jesus – in Mark 3:5: Jesus became angry with the Pharisees because, of the hardening of their hearts. He was going to heal a man on the Sabbath. They had a religious spirit.

When I looked at these examples, it became clear to me what sinful anger is…

Cain wanted praise for himself. Jonah was a snob. He looked down on others who didn’t perform the way he thought that they should. And, the Sadducees were jealous because they wanted to have the admiration and respect of the people.

What do they all have in common? They all had a selfish, self-centered anger.

On the other hand, Moses got angry at the lack of faith and the disobedience to God’s ways. Samuel was angry for the exact same thing. And, guess what? Jesus was too! They all had a righteous anger. Anger at sin and disobedience.

Now, we will look at a couple of examples of unjustifiable anger…. how it begins…and how to counteract it.

(I have left out justifiable anger, because, we just learned that justifiable anger has to do with a righteous indignation at sin. None of the examples are rage filled.)

Example One:

Your child spills a drink for the twentieth time, on the carpet that you just cleaned from the last spill. Grrrr. You explode. You begin a full verbal attack with questions the child is unable to answer, and comments that will leave them in tears. This is selfish anger. It is about you. Who cares about a rug, tablecloth, or broken dish? Are they going with you when you go to Heaven?

In this example you need to stop…bite your tongue…and leave the room. Take a deep breath, and think; “OK, this is my beloved child. God gave me this child to love and care for. I must show grace…after all, God has shown me more Grace than I could ever deserve. I love this child. I love my child. Thank you Lord, for this wonderful and precious child.”

I know what your thinking. “Yeah, right!” What you need to understand is that you must train yourself to do this…write it down, and keep it near by. Pull it out when you feel the anger building up inside. If you continue to do this over and over again, it will become your natural response…instead of an outburst of anger.

Example Two:

Your husband comes home from work and plops down in front of the television. He puts on some program that he enjoys
(or in my case plays Nintendo;). Grrrr. You begin to think: “Doesn’t he know how hard I work to keep this house clean and take care of his kids?” “I wish I could just plop down on the couch…but, noooo, I can’t even go to the bathroom without an audience!” You blow up. Look out…here comes Hurricane Mom!

As you can plainly see in this example, you have thought your way right into a melt down. Does any of this sound familiar? I’m sure you can think of some of your own examples. In a situation like this, it would be a good time to start thinking about how thankful you are to have a husband that goes out and works, so that you can stay home (if you’re a stay at home Mom)…or how you love his smile, laugh, whatever. ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE!

Any time that we feel rage, for any reason, we need to think about what we’re thinking about. The Word says in Colossians 3:2 – …set your mind on things above, not on the things that are on the earth. In verse 13 of the same chapter it says; Be gentle and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference, a grievance, or a complaint against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has freely forgiven you, so you must also forgive. I encourage you to read the whole chapter. It is very good.

“But, I cant do all this!” you say. Yes, you can! You have the Mind of Christ (I Cor. 2:16). “How” you ask. The Word tells us to renew our minds (Romans 12:2). You must get into the Word…and, study the Word. That is the only way that you can renew your mind.

Can you see how the mind affects the tongue? First, it becomes a thought. Then, we allow that thought to pour out of us, and…BOOM! The mind is the root of most of our fears, low self esteem, some forms of depression, doubt…it all starts in the mind…then we speak it into existence. Renew your mind!

Please, understand that if you truly want to gain victory in your life, and you begin to pursue it, the enemy WILL attack! When he does…you must go straight to the Word. Fill your mind with Truth. And, when you fail, don’t beat yourself up. Pick yourself up, and press on!

Here are some Weapons to get you started in overcoming anger:

~ II Chronicles 7:14
~ Psalm 103
~ Psalm 139
~ Proverbs 3:5-6
~ Proverbs 14:1
~ Proverbs 15:4
~ Proverbs 16:24
~ Proverbs 31:26
~ Isaiah 54:17
~ Mark 11:24
~ Romans 8:31-39
~ Philippians 4:13

I hope that these Scriptures are helpful to you in the battle of your mind and mouth. As you study the Word for yourself…you will find more. Write them down. Keep them with you. Memorize them. I know that you and I can overcome this battle!

God Bless You!

Note: All Scripture references were from the Amplified Translation

Copyright © Lara Velez, Moms of Faith, All Rights Reserved


  1. Jane on March 8, 2013 at 10:04 am

    This has really helped me I have it bookmarked on my phone and I referr to it often. Thank you so much from this

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