Drama, drama, drama.
It’s amazing how it permeates the world of women. It seems like in today’s reality TV culture it’s not only permitted but often encouraged. I had hoped that once I left high school behind so also would the cliques, the gossip, the slander, the put downs be left behind. And yet I see and hear of grown women participating in these things. Ladies–we’re moms for goodness sakes!!!! We are to be role models to our children-is that what you really want them to grow up acting like?
If you think I’m exaggerating the matter let’s look and see what the Bible has to say about busybodies:
But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men’s matters. – 1 Peter 4:15
And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. – 1 Titus 5:13
In the first verse a busybody is listed in the same sentence as a murderer, thief, and evildoer! Obviously God considers this to be a pretty serious offense! Since lately I always seem to be the neutral party or outsider on these drama laced situations I’d like to give some hopefully helpful tips and guidance on how to avoid busybodies and the hurt and drama they bring!
First, choose your friends wisely–this includes “Facebook friends”! If there is someone you know is prone to drama then keep them at an arms length. A huge red flag to watch for is if someone is constantly trying to gossip to you and/or seems to really enjoy cutting down and making fun of others. What makes you think they don’t do the same thing about you behind your back? Avoid these people in your life! Not only will they try to suck you into the gossip and drama it will often backfire in your face when they turn on you.
In the unfortunate event that you do find yourself the victim of drama and gossip the best thing you can possibly do is to quietly cut ties. I’ve seen cases where the victim just makes the matter a million times worse by lashing out (via facebook status!!!) on how the world is now against her and on and on. Without even realizing it she is just throwing a big bunch of fuel on the fire and making the drama and gossip ramp up to the next level. Don’t make that mistake!
Next time, we’ll talk about the other side of the coin-and how not to be or become a busybody ourselves! I will share how I caught myself doing this, and what steps I’ve taken to make sure I never do it again!
Copyright © Nicole Elliott, Moms of Faith, All Rights Reserved
I really enjoyed this article.. God has been convicting me of being a busybody.. for example Ive gotten in the middle of friends before because one friend would have an issue and talk to me about it.. and I almost got sucked right into the gossip and wanted to fix their problems.. I have mentioned others trials to a trusted friend or family member but Im feeling like my intents were probably wrong even if I was concerned for the person. Its a harsh feeling when I might have caused a peice of gossip that hurt a person.. not sure if i truly did, but it could have started with me. I feel I ask people about their relationships etc and sometimes feel the need to meddle or “give advice”. God has stopped me right in my tracks and it hit me like a tidal wave. I do not want to be sucked into that! Ive also made the mistake (i think) of confessing to others i gossiped or said things about and have said what i gossiped about. I feel I might have been lacking knowledge on the topic and maybe hurt those people. I guess what I realize is that gossip or getting into people’s business always involves another person.. so it would be unwise for me to say.. ya i gossiped about you to ..so and so. Then that other person is exposed.. any thoughts on this? I feel bad about my lack of carefulness in this area and want to change. I just had a baby recently to feel like I have had idle time.. and satan has used that to tempt me in different ways! I feel ashamed but cant go back and make up things I did in the past.
A couple of days ago, I posted a comment to this article. My comment was complimentary, not critical, and I agreed with your advice. Now I find that my comment is gone without a trace, with no explanation whatsoever. Huh? That makes absolutely no sense. Can you please tell me why my comment has disappeared? Thank you.
I do not see any comment…Did you post any links in it? If you did it was automatically deleted or sent to our spam folder depending on the message. Anyway, I have no other idea why it would be gone…
Oh, yes, it had a link in it. Actually, that happened to me one other time on another blog. I guess that links are frowned upon in blogs? Well, at least I know it wasn’t personal. ;) Thanks for the info. I wish I could get the message back.
Oh, well, to make a longer story shorter :), I was embroiled in some “drama” recently, and I found your advice, “In the unfortunate event that you do find yourself the victim of drama and gossip the best thing you can possibly do is to quietly cut ties,” to be very helpful. It seems that carrying on a dialogue with busybodies just adds fuel to the fire, as you said. Just wanted to say that I think this is an excellent article.