A healthy mother and son relationship is important because it teaches boys how to treat a woman, and how to respect her as well. A son who is close to his mom doesn’t make them a mama’s boy or weak by any means.
Like any relationship, it has to start from the beginning when they are babies and continue onward and into their adulthood. For some moms, bonding with their sons is a challenge. Unlike girls, boys think, do and act differently. It’s not a natural instinct for boys to know how to be kind or thoughtful to a female, therefore, you have to teach and show how to be respectful. This start by you showing respect to him first by speech and then you teach him how to show respect by action.
If you’re a single mom, having a male figure present in your son’s life is needed. If his father isn’t around, look for a trusted family friend, grandfather, pastor, cousin, or uncle. More importantly, your son should feel comfortable with this person if he chooses to confide in him.
In order to build and have a good relationship with your son, you must keep the lines of communication open. When he becomes a pre-teen, you’ll most likely see a shift in your relationship and this is normal. It’s a time when they are seeking their independence from you, but don’t give up. You can offer your support and guidance by remaining in the background. As a mom, you know when it’s time to offer emotional support and when to back off.
How you treat your son and/or husband, will directly affect how he will treat a woman. If he sees you treating men poorly, he may think women are mean and disrespectful. If you speak negatively about men all the time, then he may think that men are made to be jerks. Needless to say, this doesn’t set a good example for your son (or daughter!).
Spending quality mother and son time is a must. It’s important to know what your son’s interests are and learn about it and talk about it. For example, you can enjoy conversations about his favorite baseball team and favorite players. You can learn about why he likes this player and dislike that player. Being keen on listening shows you are interested in hearing about his opinions.
Avoid being the mother hawk – hovering and being overly protective can be detrimental. You have to let your son learn to deal with problems on his own or with a trusted male. Even though you’re his mother, you have to know you’re not the only one who can solve his problems.
A healthy mother-son relationship is successful when your son grows up and becomes a responsible, caring, loving husband/individual who is well-respected by both men and women.
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. – Psalms 127:3
Copyright © Lara Velez, Moms of Faith, All Rights Reserved
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