Why didn’t Mom tell me how bad this thing called menopause could get?! Hmm…probably because she went through the process of it relevantly smooth. Mom just had a few bad headaches, (to my recollection). And she had her last cycle at the age of 44. Well of course, I thought I would follow suit and inherit her good fortune. Wrong!!
I did however put an end to my heavy cycles since my OB/GYN performed the oblation. And thank God for small favors!! Since the beginning of March, I am cycle free. Yeah! But wait, it’s not all coming up roses for me now, far from it! I’m experiencing the effects of menopause in the worst way.
The hot flashes I can handle. Don’t get me wrong; they are NOT fun. LOL. However, it’s the depression and anxiety that I’m having major issues with. Some days it’s hard to just get out of bed, and there are those days that I get up early, do my workout, and feel awesome afterwards, and usually my days go (for the most part) well. Today is a bad day. As I woke up, I did not get up and workout. Instead I walked straight across from my bedroom to my office.
I’m finding myself praying a lot more than I usually do now, due to desperation more than anything. And that of course is certainly not a bad thing. We all need to pray, especially in these days and times. :)
I haven’t dusted my Bible off in a good while. :( However, recently I’ve been opening my Bible to whatever page it takes me to. And today, I opened it up to Proverbs 1- Verse 6 – 16
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:
For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.
My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.
If they say, Come with us, let us lay wait for blood, let us lurk privily for the innocent without cause.
Let us swallow them up alive as the grave; and whole, as those that go down into the pit.
We shall find all precious substance, we shall fill our houses with spoil.
Cast in thy lot among us; let us all have one purse.
My son, walk not thou in the way with them; refrain thy foot from their path.
For their feet run to evil, and make haste to shed blood.
I think I know what this means. You see, I was close to God before I got married. Then I slowly slipped through the cracks and stopped going to church, and yes…reading my Bible. I’ve always prayed, but it’s been less and less over the years. I did marry someone that did not attend church. However, he said he would start going “someday.” It’s been 30 years (next year) that we’ve been married, and that day has yet to come.
Through menopause, maybe God has let this depression come upon me so that I would start to pray diligently again AND read my Bible. I do believe that everything happens for a reason. And God does indeed work in mysterious ways! I’ve always believed in God, and I’ve always prayed; it’s just been less the last few years. My mom taught me well and brought me up in a Pentecostal church. Actually, it was both Pentecostal and Assembly of God. My grandfather was a pastor with the latter.
I know I will get through this. It’s just been a lonely journey so far. I realize that there has to be many more women that are going through the same thing. Hormones can do some scary things to your body.
One more thing. I’ve been sitting here and thinking, (and not working) as I type this post; what I need to do more than anything is ask my God to forgive me for all things. Everything that’s been thought, said, and done in my somewhat colorful past.
Psalms : 66:18: If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me.
Psalms : 44:21: Shall not God search this out? For he knoweth the secrets of the heart.
I sure didn’t mean for this post to be a sermon type post! lol Actually I had started out writing this article for my Grandparenting blog and intended on posting it in the Healthy Lifestyle section. As the post started to change gears, I thought it would be more fitting for Moms of Faith here.
Anyone else out there going through some bad phases of Menopause? Please Share. ;)
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