Marriage – The Great Teacher

When it comes to marriage, a definite paradigm shift needs to take place in the “all about me” line of thinking that at times beleaguers many of us in our human selfishness. If our marital mindset centers on how our spouse should meet our needs and be a provider of our happiness instead of how we can serve our husband in love and strive to meet his needs, chances are there will be discord looming around our relationship. Hoping to receive something from our spouse, especially when we think it and don’t communicate it, may lead to unmet expectations that will surely leave disappointment in their wake.

For my husband and me, we entered our marriage covenant convinced that our love story was unique in that we would be immune to communication issues, intimacy struggles and disagreements over finances, etc. From our perspective, the “love” we shared was different from others and we could not fathom the idea of anything coming between us. We didn’t discuss how our marriage was going to work, but rather took for granted that our journey would always be filled with happiness and contentment.

If naiveté is a mark of character, then my husband and I are Saints. Of course it isn’t, and Saints we are not, but through obedience to our Lord and a willingness to open our hearts to His teaching, we have been able to glean much wisdom from the seeds of ignorance that were innocently planted in the early years of our sacrament. And the growing pains have been worth it along the way.

17 things the Lord has graciously taught me in 17 years of marriage:

1. I was selfish when I said “I do”
2. As for marriage, I had no clue
3. Expectations can stir up doubt
4. And ruin the fun if we pout
5. Children bring unending delight
6. Parent as a team, strive not to fight
7. Crisis reveals the inner heart
8. And prayer is the only place to start
9. As we learn to give, removing “me”
10. We build up our spouse in unity
11. Reaching high to touch our King
12. Tightly binds our covenant strings
13. When our love rests in the shadow of His Grace
14. Harmony and peace win the race
15. We can sail the seas of better and worse
16. If 1 Corinthians 13:5 is our verse
And –
17. Live to love and serve, serve, serve…

Copyright © Shelby Spear, Moms of Faith, All Rights Reserved


  1. Peyton on October 12, 2010 at 11:08 pm

    needed this! bless you Sister!

  2. Linda on October 13, 2010 at 1:51 pm

    Great thoughts to ponder after 17 years! Can’t wait to see what God has in store for you two and the wise words that come through your fingers from His heart! God’s Blessings be abundant in you and your family’s lives.

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