When I was a senior in high school I remember making promises with classmates of staying in touch after graduation. A very wise teacher informed us that no matter how good our intentions were, life in general would pull us in different directions and within ten years we would hardly speak to our then “best friends”. My friends and I were determined to prove the statistics wrong! And we did for a while.
Then I became a wife and mom, as my friends set out on different courses. My new friends became parents of my children’s friends and co workers. I made new church friends and neighbors as we moved to a different state. I adjusted to life beyond high school and settled in with my new friends. With each new era of my life, the people in it changed as well.
Then when Caleb became seriously ill, I met more people that I thought might become friends, and some of them did. Those first few months were filled with chaos and new faces. There were so many kind, compassionate people that graced our lives at that time.
Fast forward to now: my life has changed drastically, overnight it seems. My day does not begin with the ringing of an alarm clock; instead it is Caleb, usually screaming at the top of his lungs at 3 in the morning. Forget a shower. Shoot, most days I don’t even manage to get out of sleep pants! I spend all day juggling Caleb’s needs, scheduling appointments for doctor visits and therapies, fighting insurance companies. I would say that this is tedious work, but to be honest, these are the only adults I usually get to talk to! My husband, who is a wonderful man, works hard to support our family and therefore we have become two ships passing in the night. I do talk to my mom at least once daily, most times more. Other than these calls, my phone does not ring.
My doorbell works too. I have become on first name basis with my mail carrier, UPS and FedEx drivers. I relish review times because that means the case managers visit our home to do the paperwork. If it weren’t for these required reviews, I might never see people! Lol. Since we live so far off the road, the possibility of a stranger wandering in is slim to none.
To be fair, I do have a Facebook account. It is such a welcome reprieve to read all the nonsense that people get so worked up about! And it is wonderful to see all the inspirational quotes that people post. (It would really mean a lot more if those doing the posting actually believed and lived what those quotes say!)
I don’t mean to sound so cynical and bitter, but some days are difficult to get through and it is on those days that I reach for the phone to call a friend and realize that I have no one to call. I can go for days without hearing from anyone, except my mother. As much as it pains me to say this, even those that I thought were my friends no longer acknowledge my existence.
I am not writing this to drum up sympathy. If my phone happens to ring after this column, chances are, I won’t answer for that simple reason. If a person cannot be a friend through the good AND bad times, then truthfully, they were not much of a friend to begin with. I understand that everyone’s life is crazy; I know mine is. But it is very frustrating to be the only one trying to keep a friendship going, as I have done for quite a while. It gets tiring to call and leave messages but never get a return call.
But on a much brighter note, I do have one Friend Who will never leave me. He is always there for me, whether I am in a good mood or a bad mood; whether I am taking or giving; whether I am sleeping or awake. He doesn’t promise that everyday will be full of sunshine and roses. But He did promise that He will hold the umbrella on the rainy days!
Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Hebrews 13:5
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