Never Leave You

When I was a senior in high school I remember making promises with classmates of staying in touch after graduation. A very wise teacher informed us that no matter how good our intentions were, life in general would pull us in different directions and within ten years we would hardly speak to our then “best friends”. My friends and I were determined to prove the statistics wrong! And we did for a while.

Then I became a wife and mom, as my friends set out on different courses. My new friends became parents of my children’s friends and co workers. I made new church friends and neighbors as we moved to a different state. I adjusted to life beyond high school and settled in with my new friends. With each new era of my life, the people in it changed as well.

Then when Caleb became seriously ill, I met more people that I thought might become friends, and some of them did. Those first few months were filled with chaos and new faces. There were so many kind, compassionate people that graced our lives at that time.

Fast forward to now: my life has changed drastically, overnight it seems. My day does not begin with the ringing of an alarm clock; instead it is Caleb, usually screaming at the top of his lungs at 3 in the morning. Forget a shower. Shoot, most days I don’t even manage to get out of sleep pants! I spend all day juggling Caleb’s needs, scheduling appointments for doctor visits and therapies, fighting insurance companies. I would say that this is tedious work, but to be honest, these are the only adults I usually get to talk to! My husband, who is a wonderful man, works hard to support our family and therefore we have become two ships passing in the night. I do talk to my mom at least once daily, most times more. Other than these calls, my phone does not ring.

My doorbell works too. I have become on first name basis with my mail carrier, UPS and FedEx drivers. I relish review times because that means the case managers visit our home to do the paperwork. If it weren’t for these required reviews, I might never see people! Lol. Since we live so far off the road, the possibility of a stranger wandering in is slim to none.

To be fair, I do have a Facebook account. It is such a welcome reprieve to read all the nonsense that people get so worked up about! And it is wonderful to see all the inspirational quotes that people post. (It would really mean a lot more if those doing the posting actually believed and lived what those quotes say!)

I don’t mean to sound so cynical and bitter, but some days are difficult to get through and it is on those days that I reach for the phone to call a friend and realize that I have no one to call. I can go for days without hearing from anyone, except my mother. As much as it pains me to say this, even those that I thought were my friends no longer acknowledge my existence.

I am not writing this to drum up sympathy. If my phone happens to ring after this column, chances are, I won’t answer for that simple reason. If a person cannot be a friend through the good AND bad times, then truthfully, they were not much of a friend to begin with. I understand that everyone’s life is crazy; I know mine is. But it is very frustrating to be the only one trying to keep a friendship going, as I have done for quite a while. It gets tiring to call and leave messages but never get a return call.

But on a much brighter note, I do have one Friend Who will never leave me. He is always there for me, whether I am in a good mood or a bad mood; whether I am taking or giving; whether I am sleeping or awake. He doesn’t promise that everyday will be full of sunshine and roses. But He did promise that He will hold the umbrella on the rainy days!

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Hebrews 13:5

Copyright © Robin Pack, Moms of Faith, All Rights Reserved


  1. Faith_Mom on July 17, 2012 at 9:48 am

    I want you to know that I have been where you are. I have been friendless and lonely. I know this pain and how hard it is. I know the sad road of trying to keep a friendship going and wondering what must be wrong with you–that no one wants to even acknowledge you. Oh, sweet sister, I really do know. :( I also know that it is the most wonderful season in your relationship with the Lord! I grew so close to Him and longingly look back to my darkest days and how that closeness enveloped me. ENJOY these days, because believe it or not, they will only last a season. God is working and wants HIM to be the ONLY One you focus on. Know that through this lonely and painful time you will reap blessings. You will also find yourself with TRUE friends at the end of the journey! (((hugs)))

  2. Table for Eight on July 17, 2012 at 10:46 am

    I agree with Faith_Mom…
    I’ve come to realize that most women (no matter how put together and popular they may seem) encounter stages of friendlessness. Our roles as wives and mothers do not always leave room for maintaining friendships well. I don’t have a child with severe special needs, but I have my sixth baby on the way… and that too can be alienating, and I have definitely had my woes of loneliness. You are right though, the Lord is near and in those moments He soooo wants you to draw nearer to Him. I would encourage you also to not give up… keep making the phone calls. I’ve been on the other end as well… too busy to answer. A week turns into two and before I know it I’ve been the one “avoiding” people. Relationships are tough, and I think they always will be. Just when God brought a bff into my life… I find myself recently replanted in Texas… miles and miles away from a tremendous friend… wondering if it will last, or if I’ll find another. It’s ok to need friends, but I have come to acknowledge that I need Him more, and without security in the Lord first, I’m not much of a friend anyway. I hope you find some bit of encouragement today. Blessings and prayers.

  3. Becky on July 17, 2012 at 11:36 am

    Thank you for your openness and honesty in this post. I can relate so very much. being a stay at home mom on a budget to 3 boys makes the distance feel greater. I had a very small wedding, only family and no bridal party. I am saddened by the fact that the friends who I would have chosen as my bridesmaids I don’t even speak to anymore. And the last time I did it was awkward. You are not alone. Thank you again.

  4. Robin on July 17, 2012 at 8:13 pm

    Thank you fellow Sisters! I know that I am not the only one who feels this way; but sometimes each of us feel as if we are “the only one” in many areas of our lives! I appreciate your encouraging words and agree that this may be the perfect time for me to grow closer to my Friend, who only wants what is best for me!

    XOXOXO Robin

  5. Dawn on July 17, 2012 at 9:11 pm

    Well said, Robin. Well said.

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